Sven’s a Viking.
No, I don’t mean he’s one of the Minnesota Vikings football team – though, in fact, he doesn’t live too far away from Minneapolis.
No, what I mean is that he’s of Viking descent. Or, at least, that’s what his family says.
“My grandpa’s dad came here from Newfoundland”, Sven tells us.
“And, as everyone in Newfoundland knows, those guys the Vikings settled there a long time ago.”
In fact, whenever that old Tony Curtis movie The Vikings gets shown on TV, our boy tries to watch.
And young Sven’s got a bit of a bee in his bonnet about the way people think of those ancestors of his.
“I did a high school assignment about them and most people either don’t know much about the Vikings at all or else have got completely the wrong idea.
“Everyone thinks that they were guys who had long ships…”
But Sven, at HMBoys we’re much more interested to know if you’ve got anything else that’s especially… er… long…
“And, you know, not all Vikings just wore smelly, hairy animal skins…”
Maybe not, Sven, but we hope you’ll be showing off your own hairy side pretty soon…
“People think that all Vikings wore those horny helmets…”
Hold on just a minute there, boy – we’re hoping that you’ll soon be getting a little horny too…
“And in pictures they’re always seen carrying big weapons…”
And that includes you too, we hope!
“In fact, if you ask people to sum up us Vikings, they always come up with ‘rape, loot and pillage’…”
Well, OK there, Sven. We’ll draw the line at rape – but maybe you wouldn’t mind too much if we pillaged you today, just a little?